LLC, EIN, FEIN, Sub S, UCC..........what?

Okay, now I know why people don't go into business for themselves....first you have to get a law degree in order to know what you need to open anything!

I need to form an LLC, I need a EIN#, need to register name with state of KS, need a sales tax ID #, need food license, need, need, need. UGH! The only thing I don't need is....well, I am not sure! I actually had to contact a friend today to see which to do first! She is a lawyer, thank you Lord for making one of my best friends a lawyer. So I call her and she explains most of the stuff within a 33 minute time span but also adds that I need a contract, bill of sale, lease, lien something or another.......okay, why on earth did I call her? She just doubled my list of crap to do if I open this cafe/bakery. Do the Mennonites or Amish have to go through all this mumbo jumbo? If not, I am thinking it might be easier to join their church and then open this place.

I need a food wholesaler, I need to change all the utilities over into my name.......one more time, need, need, need.

How about my wants? I just want to paint a pretty sign that says open and go for it!

Give me a break, it is easier just to become a drug dealer. Get the stuff, sell it, buy an expensive car, move into a ridiculously expensive house, hire bodyguards, poof! you're done! Oh no, for those of us who want to open a legitimate place of business must jump through 4,356 hoops before we can even open a checking account with a business name on it. Something doesn't seem too fair about this. Let's face it, I will work harder, longer hours, not make a smidgen of what the drug dealer makes AND have to apply for 14 different licenses before I can even sell a freaking cupcake! Rules. I am starting to detest the word.

Today I spent my entire day cleaning larger than life dust bunnies from the corners of my home. Really, I thought at one point I could name some of these bunnies, declare them as dependents and claim them on my taxes! James spent the day at the Chiefs game. I cleaned, he played. So about 4 pm, I was happily (I mean disgruntled) starting on mopping the kitchen floor when James pulls up to the house from the game. I decide that he can take over, I mumble something about slavery in Kansas, I tell him that about the only thing I haven't gotten done is the mopping and sorting of 239,935 useless plastic items we have collected over the years, and I declare that I am stopping, taking a shower and we are going out to dinner. He comments that it looks like I have done alot today and dinner out is a good idea. So, I pop in the shower, noticing that is one other place that needs to be sandblasted, come out, dressed and ready to go and KNOWING that he would assume the mopping as his responsibility and I would walk out to the kitchen and it would be shining in all of its glory. Nope. There James sat watching another football game. Ummm...okay, the closest weapon to me is what? Ahhh, could I possible grab the razor blade out of the tub and get his carotid artery? Should I grab the toilet cleaner and try to sneak a few ounces in his Mountain Dew can? How about my curling iron, the cord around his neck? I can't believe he is just sitting there? Of course this morning before he left for the game, he was nice enough to bring his laundry basket out for me to run his dirty clothes through a spin or two....I am going to kill him. We get home from dinner around 8 pm, he claims the day exhausted him and he is going to bed. BED??!! Your clothes are still in the dryer and you are going to bed? Okie dokie, in the dryer the will stay. I understand that sitting in that football stadium is a hard job, but somebody has to do it and of course I had that all inclusive, fun filled day of cleaning so you go right ahead and go onto bed......I will be in with your pillow soon...........soon to be held over your face! We will see if you have enough stamina from that grueling pace you had to keep up all day to defend your life buddy! Oh alright, James works hard and he deserves a day of fun I guess so everyone starting to email me about killing him.......hold your horses.

Tomorrow Kris, mom and I are off to Kansas City for the day. I have signed up for a massage while Kris is at market and then off to lunch after that and then home to file LLC's, EIN's....whatever. Maybe the masseuse will kidnap me, hold me hostage forever, massage me into a coma and well who cares after that!