cupcake overdose

Okay, in the anticipation of possibly opening a cupcake store, I am officially upon cupcake overdose. I have called the local pharmacy to see if I can obtain insulin by the gallon instead of the small vial I am used to. My first batch was "strawberry dreams" and the second batch was "chocolate something". I always joke that if I ever wanted to kill myself I would never get a gun, rope, or illegal substances...I would just overdose on Zagnuts. Nope, no joke now...my obituary will state the following:

Kelley Robinson, of Topeka, KS, died of cupcake overdose on September 6, 2009. She had previously worked at...well, in the interest of not having to publish a 4,329 page special edition, let's just say she never worked as a pole dancer anywhere. She graduated with honors from ACCC in 1996 with a totally worthless degree in Fine Arts. In 2009, she graduated again with another worthless degree "Medical Specialist". She was serving a lifetime sentence at Washburn Nursing School at the time of her death. Survivors include a bunch of unlucky suckers that will have to clean out a household full of useless and worthless crap. The family requests donations made to the Humane Society or to her sister Kris Saia so she won't have to live under the bridge and eat cat food when she is old. Kelley will be buried in a giant foil liner at Mt. Hope Cemetery on Tuesday at 2 pm or whenever her timer goes off.

So back to my cupcakes. The strawberry ones were delicious. The chocolate ones....well.....they were good but too much. The strawberry dreams consisted of vanilla cake, split down the middle with fresh strawberries, strawberry preserves, topped with cream cheese icing and fresh strawberry slices. Then the chocolate fudge cakes were filled with cream cheese icing, topped with fudge icing and crushed oreos. STOP!!!! UGH......I can't talk about them anymore or I will vomit. Really. I am wondering if my insurance covers a self inflicted stomach pump procedure?

I have a big decision coming up this week. Yes, I obviously love drama. Do I drop from school was the big decision last week, this week....do I buy an already established cafe so I can poison others with my cupcake creations or do I go get another schmuck job in accounting? I think I will just flip a coin. Maybe I could get a job writing about vocational errors. That would keep me employed until I qualify for social security.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a dentist. How weird is that? When other little girls were dreaming of being mothers, nurses, etc.....I wanted to be a dentist. What was wrong with me?? The only thing that I am good at is baking and numbers. I can remember a phone number forever if I only dial it once. I can remember the phone # of JC Penneys from 1968, I can remember my grandmas # and she died 26 years ago. I know the address of a friend that I haven't talked to since 1981. Maybe I can see a hypnotist that can relieve me of this useless knowledge I am storing in my head to make room for something more useful such as memorizing the Gettysburg address or something that would make me money on a game show?

Oh well.

A special thanks goes to Kay Smith today. She is praying for me to find my dream job. Well Kay, so am I. There has got to be a place for me. I have worked at so many places that I am sure that Guinness Book of World Records is trying to contact me at this very moment. If not, maybe Ripleys Believe it or Not....I just want a job that is entertaining and that keeps me busy for my entire shift. I get so bored when there is nothing to do. So help me, if any of you say "well nursing will keep you busy", I will jump on you like a screech monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew! C'mon.........wanna test me????! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!!!!!

I am trying to decide if the cafe doesn't work out...where will I head? If anyone knows of a retirement home that needs an activity director please keep me in mind. I think that is one of my top ten job "wants". I know it doesn't pay anything but I love working with seniors so....it will be worth the pay cut!

Well, I am off to either ingest a bottle of Tums or pray for a case of Bulimia....either way......ugh....no more cupcakes this weekend that's for sure!